Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
