You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize