he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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