Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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