it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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