You really coming over, don't trick.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
