Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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