okay pat passed out under dana's car
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
