im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Are we still banned from the library?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
