Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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