butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
