A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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