He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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