Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
false alarm, still single
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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