you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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