...so i touched it.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
