Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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