i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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