Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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