I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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