I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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