I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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