she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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