just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
