NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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