Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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