dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
