so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
