my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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