Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
