how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
