Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
