There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I got chris browned last night
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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