oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
