she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
