It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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