i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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