it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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