Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
