i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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