dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize