why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
