I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize