you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Randomize
