hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
