he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
