I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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