smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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