And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
sex in a hospital.. check
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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