matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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