I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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