I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
