I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
