I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize