Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
there was a trapeze. enough said
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
